I woke up the other morning with my mouth stained with nacho cheese sauce. There were bits of a female's pubic hair between my teeth and hot sauce stains all over my hairy chest and I hoped to God I didn't hurt anybody. It has been happening more often, the transformations which I can't control. Every night I look up in the sky and curse the moon as it sits there glowing upon me, its evil magnetic rays twisting my blood and making it boil, making me put on my werewolf mask and search the night for hairy tacos to lick, suck and fuck. It's a good thing in that I always get laid but I never can remember if the werewomen I have intercourse with approved of what I was doing. I have nightmares of myself walking about the city like an animal, a boorish beast who simply sniffs out a hairy pussy with my hirsute radar, flips up a woman's skirt and has at it without her permission. And the salsa stains always make me wonder if violence was involved, whether I hurt them or not and there have been a few mornings I've had to look in the newspaper and wince at what I'd unknowingly done.
Every night, I looked in the sky and cursed the moon, but last night there was no moon in sight. I searched all over for it in the sky but could not see it anywhere. I began to sigh in relief, feeling so good that I decided to go to the park and feed the pigeons. I sat there underneath a security light feeding the pigeons some bits of seasoned ground taco beef I had left over from a taco feast earlier in the evening. While sitting on the bench I noticed one of those glum looking young girls, a Goth girl in her early twenties, all dressed in black, sitting on a bench across me from a few feet away. She wasn't feeding the pigeons ANYTHING, was just staring at them and giving them a sneer which started to piss me off. What's wrong with the pigeons that she had to be so cruel to them? Why couldn't she feed them like I did? Then I noticed she started making dirty looks at ME!!!!!!!!!!!! Like I was the most despicable thing on this earth. So I decided to go up to her and say "Whats your problem? Why are you looking at me that way and why aren't you feeding the hungry pigeons?"
She was all dressed in black. Her hair was black. Her clothes were black. Even her lipstick was black but she had really pale skin like a vampiress. She had on headphones blasting some sort of melodramatic vampire music and couldn't hear me so I pulled one from her ear and screamed "HEY WHATS YER FUCKING PROBLEM!! QUIT GIVING ME DIRTY LOOKS!!!" But the girl just made a face of disgust at me and said "Leave me alone you fucking loser" so I decided to get out my can of black spray paint, to teach this impudent, obnoxious Goth girl a lesson because I could sense that she had a shaved pussy. I always carry around a black can of spray paint to vandalize places and advertise my website on the walls of buildings and peoples houses.
I said, "Hey is your underwear black too? I can sense that you have shave your pubes. Why is that? Do you think that being a vampiress is cooler than being a werewoman?"
"Get away from me," the morbid girl said.
"Is yer bra black? I think you need your butt spanked for having a bald pussy and for being so rude to me."
For some reason I felt this pull, this seductive, sinister allure tugging at my fingers. It pulled upon my heart and rustled my nutsack and it took me a few minutes to realize the force was coming from this girl's ASS. This babe was actually pretty hot and I found myself transforming in her presence, foaming at the mouth and unable to control myself as I reached over and grabbed her. I wrestled with her atop the bench as she kicked and screamed. She began biting me on the neck and the piercing pain only drove my lyncanthropic lustful powers into a higher gear. I managed to rip down the girl's black latex pants and saw that, yes, her vagina was completely shaven. It was just a disgusting little slit surrounded by smooth, soft pale skin between her legs and I couldn't look at it. I couldn't bear to gaze upon its grotesquery a moment longer so I decided to follow up on my proposition to SPANK this little disrespectful; disrespectful witch by bending her over my knee.
"Hahahahah, I actually kind of dig this," the girl said. "I've never made it with a werewolf. Spank my ass and howl at it, baby, It's the cutest moon you'll ever see!"
"MOON". The girl said "moon" and it then suddenly dawned on me where the moon was, that it was there in front of me, smiling up at me. The girl's bald pussy had nearly made me vomit but her ASS, her haunting little moon of an ass just fucking glowed. It was so cute and round, smiling up at me with it's haunting, mysterious butt crack that told me stories. Stories of what I should do to this girl, tales of tantalizing titillation and luscious lunar love but my werewolf nature just wouldn't let me fuck her because she was shaven. Despite all my longing, all my yearning and passion I felt for this magestic, hot little orb of delicious derierre danger I couldn't fuck it, I couldn't even get myself to SPANK her. So to not have to look at it, to get it out of my sight and reaffirm my devotion to hairy tacos I grabbed my can of spray paint and began spraying her ass BLACK, coating this babe's hot little milk-white ass with sparay paint as she screamed, "Hey! What the fuck are you doing?!"
"I'm spray painting your ass black so I don't have to look at it!"
I then let the girl go as she stood there with her pants down, her black underwear hanging down to her ankles as she looked over her shoulder at her black ass and began to cry.
"Go show all of your vampire friends your black ass now, babe. They will probably think it's cool."
"Asshole!" the girl shouted and ran out of the park stumbling, so rattled she didn't even pull her pants up as I stared at her black moon, watching it fade in the distance with a feeling of serenity and peace, knowing I wouldn't hurt anyone else that night. I'd just be content to jack off later.
